Everything I Learned, I Learned in a Chinese Restaurant: Curtis Chin Book Event

Curtis Chin is the author of the award-winning memoir, Everything I Learned, I Learned in a Chinese Restaurant. The restaurant of the title was a popular downtown Detroit eatery owned by his family for generations.

Chin was recently in Windsor, kicking off his five-stop Canadian book tour. A co-founder of the Asian American Writers’ Workshop in New York City, Curtis Chin served as the nonprofit's first Executive Director. He went on to write comedy for network and cable television before transitioning to social justice documentaries. Chin has screened his films at over 600 venues in twenty countries. He has written for CNN, Bon Appétit, the Detroit Free Press, and the Emancipator/Boston Globe.

A graduate of the University of Michigan, Chin has received awards from ABC/Disney Television, New York Foundation for the Arts, National Endowment for the Arts, and more. We caught up with him at Biblioasis bookshop. This podcast features the recorded highlights of his book talk and his conversation with Scarlet Kennedy. You can find out more about the book and Curtis on his website, curtisfromdetroit.com.

Transcript

Speaker: 0:03

Welcome to All Write in Sin City, a podcast about writers and writing in the Windsor -Detroit region. Your podcasters today are Irene Moore Davis, author, educator, and local historian, Sarah Jarvis, former bookseller, publishing rep, and literary festival chair, and me, Kim Conklin, Windsor-based writer and filmmaker. Curtis Chin is the author of the award -winning memoir, Everything I Learned, I Learned in a Chinese Restaurant. The restaurant of the title was a popular downtown Detroit eatery owned by his family for generations. Chin was recently in Windsor, kicking off his five-stop Canadian book tour. A co-founder of the Asian American Writers Workshop in New York City, Curtis Chin served as the non-profit's first executive director. He went on to write comedy for network and cable television before transitioning to social justice documentaries. Chin has screened his films at over 600 venues in 20 countries. He has written for CNN, Bon Appetit, the Detroit Free Press, and the Emancipator slash Boston Globe. A graduate of the University of Michigan, Chin has received awards from ABC, Disney Television, New York Foundation for the Arts, National Endowment for the Arts, and more. We caught up with him at Biblioasis Bookshop. This podcast features the highlights of his book talk and his conversation with Scarlett Kennedy. You can find out more about the book and Curtis on his website, curtisfromdetroit.com. Hi everybody, my name is Curtis Chin, I'm the author of this memoir, Everything I Learned I Learned in a Chinese Restaurant, and as the title says, I grew up in a Chinese restaurant. But I like to think of this as not just any Chinese restaurant, I like to think of this as the Chinese restaurant of Detroit. The book is structured into three sections of eight stories each, because 888 is good luck to Chinese people, so there are eight stories in elementary, middle school, eight in high school, and then eight in college. But I start out the prologue actually talking about my family's journey to Michigan, and there's two reasons I wanted to do that. The first is that if you do read about Chinese American history, it's oftentimes based in California, right? Or maybe Hawaii, maybe New York. You don't really think of Asians as being in this part of this country, or this part of this continent, but that's where we were, so I wanted to pay respect to that. And the second thing is that I don't think you can know a person's story unless you actually know the family's journey, because so much about the things you value, the way you see the world, the things you aspire for are really shaped by them and the things that they want. And so I wanted to just sort of pay respect to them. So I'm going to just start off with the first page and talk a little bit about their journey. Everything I learned, I learned in the Chinese restaurant. Welcome to Chung's. Is this for here or to go? Armed with a smile and a red waiter's jacket with a perpetual plumsauce stain. That's how my dad greeted any new face who entered the lobby of our popular Chinese restaurant in Detroit. Interestingly, my great-great-grandpa, Gong Liqin, had faced the same question in the late 1800s as he stood cold and alone in a rickety dock in Guangzhou, China, trying to decide his future and that of his young impoverished family. For here or to go? For here or to go, as I got older, it was a question I asked myself. Starting in our restaurant's long and open back kitchen, where my family made some of our most popular items, including the tangiest barbecue pork and best-smelling almond cookies, my mom taught me my first lessons. Before diving into math, English, and geography, she began with a little American history, tales of elders and ancestors, our family as prologue. And so that's what the prologue does, it just sort of follows that journey. It starts off with Gong Liqin, who moved from Canton, China, to Canton, Ohio, before realizing there weren't actually Chinese people there, and then moving up to Detroit. At that time, the auto industry was just starting. He tried to get a job in one of the factories, couldn't get that work because of the discrimination that those early immigrants faced, and so he took the only job he could, which was to hand laundry, worked really, really hard, saved up his money, and eventually opened up his own laundromat on Charlotte Street. I don't know if anybody here is familiar with Detroit geography, it was right downtown. And the reason that fact is so significant is because soon after, the United States enacted this thing called the Chinese Exclusion Act, and for the first time ever, they banned a certain group of people from coming in, and it was directed against the Chinese. And there were two exceptions to that rule. The first is if you were a student, and the second is if you owned your own business. And because he owned his own business, he was able to bring over his son, and then his grandson, and that's why my family had that long history in Detroit. And so the prologue continues through the 20s, when they opened up their first grocery store, the 30s, when they opened up their first restaurant, and then 1940, when they opened Cheung's Catty's Cuisine, which is the restaurant that I grew up in, well, it was the second location, they destroyed the old Chinatown, but I grew up in the second location of it. And then the prologue goes all the way up to the 60s. At that time, the United States was going through the civil rights struggle, which we're still going through now, you know, and things are really violent back then, right? Like buildings are burning down, people are being killed in the streets. The National Guard had to be called in in Detroit, and they brought in tanks, right, to quell the violence, and they shut down the city for five straight days. And if you guys know anything about Chinese restaurants, they don't close for five straight days, right? And so, you know, what do my parents do? Luckily, though, they found time to have sex in those five days. And nine months later, I was born as the riot baby. And so people always ask me, oh, why do you talk about social justice so much? And I say, well, without that incident, I probably wouldn't be around, so I kind of have to. And so that's this book. I mean, it's this joyous look at this wonderful American city called Detroit, and, you know, this family, they should try to do the best they can, you know, in this family business. And so it's been really wonderful. I've done, I don't know exactly how much, somewhere between 340 and 350 of these book talks now, you know, in nine countries, or this is my 10th country now. Yeah. So that's exciting. I've done everything. You need a pin board. Huh? You need a pin board. Yes. You guys put me in the double digits now, you're over the top 10. But yeah, I've done everything from Oxford University in the UK, all the way to the largest U.S. military base in Asia, Pistons, Lions, you know, Ford Motor Company. It's just been really a wonderful, wonderful journey. And so as I mentioned earlier, is that one of the reasons I really wanted to come to Canada is because you grew up in Detroit, you understand there's this close relationship between the two countries, right? I mean, I grew up watching the Friendly Giant and Coronation Street, you know, the rivalry between, you know, the Maple Leafs and the Red Wings. It's like, you know, what I always said, you know, we like the Canadians better than we like the people from Ohio. It's like, you know, it's like, so I don't like what's going on between the two countries right now. And part of this tour is, you know, making sure that we stay connected and we continue learning from each other. We continue these conversations. You know, a few of the events that I'm going to be doing here in Canada are, you know, have a fundraising component to support local nonprofits. Like tonight, I'm going up to Sarnia, you know, that's supporting a children's program through the local Chinese Canadian organization. I'm doing a senior center up in Ottawa, an arts program in Montreal. So yeah, it's just, you know, again, trying to show that, you know, some of us Americans are also as upset about what's going on as you guys probably are. So, but happy to be here today and look forward to some wonderful conversation. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. Alrighty. Um, I do have a few questions having read the book. Um, it's, uh, it was a lot of fun. It's actually really funny. Whenever I do author events with, uh, when it comes to memoir, it's you talk with the author via email and then you read their book and then you feel like you know them because even though you've never met them because you're reading about their, their whole life. So, um, I do have a couple of questions for you, um, as you mentioned, as I mentioned in the, in the introduction and, um, as you talk about a lot in the book, you're a man with many hats. You have a lot of interests, a lot of things you like to do. Uh, there's a lot of different ways that your life could have gone. Um, you asked me earlier if I'm a writer. I told you I'm not. I hate writing. I love reading, which is something that people always find very funny because I work in a bookstore, but I'm not a writer. Um, so having done so many other things, you know, documentaries, things like that. What was it that kind of sparked you that you decided you wanted to write a memoir that you wanted to kind of sit down and force yourself to, to kind of, you know, write a book, which is a, which is a big task. Well, I don't say I, uh, I never forced myself, but I actually really enjoyed it. Oh, great. My, looking at my personal dislike. Yeah, I know. You're feeling more about yourself than me, uh, but, uh, no, um, it always just started off as a fun project really just for the family. Um, uh, you know, I've never taken a memoir class. I never had ambitions of publishing a book. I mean, I do work in TV and film, so I do storytelling, but, uh, I just never thought of, um, telling my story, right. Cause it's, you know, in those other fields, I'm always exploring other people's lives and other characters and things like that. Um, but, uh, the way the project really started was, um, sadly, uh, my parents, um, you know, went in a car accident back in home in Detroit. And, uh, at the time I was writing for the Disney channel, uh, and I get this terrible phone call that my parents were in this car accident and my dad died and my mom was severely injured. Um, and, uh, you know, by the end of that first week, we had to move her out to California to be with my brother, Chris, who's a doctor. And, uh, by the end of the, you know, everybody decided to go out to Detroit and I was sort of out to California and I was sort of stuck behind trying to decide, do I stay in Detroit or do I go back to Hollywood? And so for here to go, yeah, that was that question, you know, so I made that choice again. Um, and, uh, I decided to go back to LA, but I split the difference. I decided not to work in the studios anymore and instead just do more independent projects because I felt like that's what my dad would like. And so this book is sort of out of that transition. So I transitioned to documentary filmmaking and then eventually when my siblings started having kids, um, I just thought it was really sad that this next generation wouldn't know anything about this fabulous restaurant. And so I just started writing these stories. I sent myself an initial email that just said everything I learned in chunks, right? And I listed about 20 story ideas, you know, and then over the course of several years, I was expanding the stories, right? Fleshing them out. And then at some point I just thought like, I'm spending a lot of time working on this. I should probably get paid for it. And so that's when, uh, you know, I just started investigating what does it mean to publish a book and or how to find an agent. And so that was a whole nother journey, but, um, no, it's, it's just, it was really organic in that sense. Uh, and it's always been fun just to like write and relive those moments and just, you know, to find the humor in it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm not a tortured writer. No. I don't drink. I don't do drugs. I don't do any of those things too. The idea of sitting down and writing my life story is like my worst nightmare. Yeah. So I, I was, I, I'm always very curious when I meet someone who writes, you know, like a memoir, if it, you know, if it comes from a place of wanting to, to share that with the next generation, share what you know, or if it, you know, some, sometimes it also like I've met people where it's definitely come from ego. Um, but, uh, that's, uh, you know, story for another day, but I, I'm just always curious. Are you analyzing me right now? Like afterwards, you leave, you're like, boy, that writer was, yeah. I don't often do a Q and A, so we're also, I'm, I'm, uh, uh, you know, this is just like the baking. I'm an amateur at this as well. So, um, so it's actually, uh, it's, it's, it's, you can tell that the story comes very organically. The tone that you take throughout the book, it's, you're dealing with a lot of very difficult. I mean, you talk about, I mean, you were raised in Detroit, it was a very segregated city during that time. Um, there was a lot going on. You're also, you know, a gay man trying to deal with coming out. That's, there's a, you know, a lot of kind of difficulty with that as well, but the tone in the book still continues to be very kind of, uh, like witty and funny. And there were times where I found myself like laughing out loud, you know, kind of along with you. So, um, did you do that on pur - like on purpose or did it kind of come naturally just looking back on your life? Did you find you kind of had this tongue in cheek way of kind of viewing it or were you trying to, trying to add that like lighthearted element to it? First of all, these cookies are really delicious. Oh, thank you. So you're not an amateur baker. If you guys haven't tried a cookie, you should grab one. Um, you know, the, the one thing that someone did say to me, so, um, the way I started writing it after I was just doing that stuff by myself, uh, COVID sort of started happening. And so I started signing up for these free online meetup groups, right? Um, so I was, uh, in these writing groups with these people from all across the world. Like I'd sign up for groups in Scotland, you know, Germany, Phoenix, Arizona, um, cause I just sort of wanted to see how the story would play in these different things. And one thing, um, one person said to me, um, was that, uh, you know, it's the most important thing about a memoir is that it should sound like you, like, as if you're just, uh, you know, having dinner with them. Right. And I think that's just what I was going for. It's like, does this sound like me? Does it sound like something that would come out of my mouth? And that's why it's like, you know, when I was doing the audio book and we talked about that, oh, it was with the other people. Um, you know, uh, it just, it felt really natural in that sense. I didn't feel like I was forcing anything. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Just how you would tell the story if you were just talking with someone. Yeah. I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that answers my question. Um, so, uh, Detroit is a very culturally rich city. It has a lot of, uh, it's kind of a melting pot. It has a lot of different kind of cultures that have all kind of come together. Um, you were there during a very kind of iconic, uh, timeframe. You talk a lot about Motown. Um, you mentioned about, uh, Bruce Lee movie that you went and saw at the theater, stuff like that. Um, I was just wondering if you could talk a little bit about some of those cultural influences that you had and how those kind of helped, uh, I guess shape your, you, you're becoming an artist yourself. Hmm. Uh, well, yeah, I mean, Detroit, uh, is such an iconic city really. Right. I mean, so many great things came out of it and in many ways it's the city that defines America, right. It, it's where the middle class was born, right. Um, and also sadly, you know, the loss of manufacturing represented, you know, America's shifting position globally too. Um, but in terms of the culture that comes out of it, I mean, you know, you just have to mention Motown, but there's all these other things, other music traditions, you know, that have come out of it. And so, um, that's, that's a wonderful draft backdrop, I think, you know, for anybody to sort of grow up in. Um, I think that one thing for me as an Asian American specifically, uh, that, that, uh, you know, scholars have talked about is that, uh, I did not go through what a lot of other Asian Americans go through, which is like, am I American or am I Asian? Like what percentages, whatever. I'd always saw myself as Asian American fully, right. I don't go through that struggle. The struggle that I was going through, I mean, beyond the gay thing, but the struggle that I was going through about my race was more external. It was really about, I am Asian American. How do I fit in this black and white world? Right. I never really was going through this internal struggle, like, oh, if I do this, am I more Chinese and if I do this, am I less American? So I think that that's one thing that people have commented on, um, you know, I had a very strong sense of being Asian American, um, you know, so yeah, no, I just, I just love Detroit, you know what I mean? And just the Tigers, you know, the Coney Islands that like, I love coming back for a Faygo, you know what I mean? And if you like Detroit, um, there's so much Detroit history in this book, right? Like the closing of Hudson's department store to the Tigers winning the world series. It's just like, you know, uh, you know, it's a Detroit memoir as much as it is mine. And I think that's probably why the book has been so successful is because even if you aren't a gay Asian American, you know, uh, you could pick up the book and see yourself in that story because you know, where you were, you know what I mean? Like I've had so many people come up to me and say they can identify with it, you know, because I put in all these things. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's, yeah, I guess that's where I was trying to go with the, with the question is like, you know, we here in Windsor, especially like people who are younger, like me who, who maybe, you know, weren't alive during that time, you, you hear a lot about it. You hear a lot about the culture that came out of Detroit and the good or bad thing I read. Yeah. Both. And how much, how much it impacted. I mean, it had a lot of influence on Windsor. You had a lot of people who would, who came over and moved here and brought a lot of that with them as well. So, so it's, it was really fun to kind of read the book and be like, Hey, I know about that. You know what I mean? I've been hearing about that my whole life. So, uh, it's just, it's, it's fun to hear what it was like to like actually grow up. In such a, you know, culturally like rich city like that. Yeah. And the other thing that people have said is that it's nice to read a fun, funny book about Detroit in the eighties because everything is dark around that time too. But I really want to show that, you know, uh, even though there were all these bad things going on, cause I don't shy away from talking about them, but we laughed a lot as kids, you know, we had a really great time. And so, uh, I think that's what other people, um, find appealing about the book is that, um, you know, it's a joyful look at Detroit, not a sad, uh, you know, dystopian look at the city. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Um, we hear a lot, I think, especially like, like going back to kind of, you know, being, being a young person and not having lived through that time, we hear a lot nowadays about how, you know, divided we are. I think especially while you're here building bridges, so obviously there's some kinds of division. Um, yeah, we're blown up shit everywhere, internally, externally, we don't care. We're just like inoculating everything. It does kind of always feel like the world is about to burn down. But one of the, one of the other things I took away was just how much, like, it was a tumultuous time for you when you were a young person as well. I mean, you talk about, there's you, you talk, uh, on page 243, you write, um, I'd grown up in Detroit, so my political awareness had come early and often the issue of race seeped into every discussion, not just because of the city's history, but also because its current state is America's most racially segregated city. As an Asian American, I was constantly being asked to pick a side, black or white, whether it was on the playground or even in our restaurant. Um, as you mentioned, um, you also, you know, dealt with the AIDS crisis, you lost friends to all different kinds of violence. Um, is it, do you find having, you know, grown up as a young person during that time and now also being a part of the world at this time, are we more divided now? Do you think where it's just more noticeable to people who couldn't see it before the division? Or do you think we're kind of, it seems like the world is ending, but the world's kind of always been ending? How long is this reading? Um, yeah, no, there's so much to answer, uh, that, uh, in terms of the comparison, I think that, that what's interesting and the perspective that I bring, you know, um, you know, is might be unexpected is that, so, uh, for people who haven't read the book before, uh, you know, or yet, um, you know, when my family moved from a black neighborhood to a white neighborhood, you know, the way that I tried to figure out how do I deal with all these white people was I decided to become a Republican. And so for a big part of the book, I'm, I'm like, you know, in high school, I'm like the senior class president, president of the National Honor Society. I co-founded the Young Republican Club, the Students Against Smoking, Margaret Thatcher was my imaginary girlfriend. I was like a total right winger. And so in that sense, I think, feel like I have a unique perspective to sort of all these horrified looks in the room. Sorry. I do change. You want to know about that? You have to go read the book. I do change by the end because I go to Michigan and, you know, when you go to college, you become woke, right? It's true. Uh, and so, so I do have a journey of understanding that political party, right? And there's a lot of the things that were set in motion then that are actually, uh, you know, coming to fruition now. And I think that's what makes it an interesting book in that sense. Um, a lot of the reasons why I left that party are just things, you know, maybe I just saw earlier because of my, uh, position as a gay Asian Buddhist working class person, things that sort of made me feel like, wait, these people are not looking out for me. These people are not like, despite what they say, you know, and so like, for instance, you know, when I was a closeted gay kid, you know, as a Republican, you know, one thing that drew me to them was that they, with AIDS, they said we should have compassionate conservatism, right? It was a term that they used. And I thought like, okay, we're Buddhists, right? Compassion is what we talk about all the time. This is perfect, right? But then you'd go to these Republican club meetings and these people were totally not compassionate, just very judgmental about these things. And so it was just that learning of like, okay, this is what they say they are, but this is what they really are, you know what I mean? And so that slowly pushed me towards the other side of the political spectrum. Yeah, there's a moment you talk about in the book where you're watching, uh, like some coverage on the AIDS crisis with your mom on the news, um, and she, you ask her what she expects the president to do. And she says, help. Yeah. And I was like, that's, I mean, I feel the same way now, you know, 40 years later, like it's a, it's a very similar situation. Like, we feel so divided, but it's kind of, like, I was actually defending Reagan against my mom, you know what I mean? I was like, leave him alone. He's fighting the Russians, but he's perfect, you know, what do you want him to do? And she just said this one four letter word. She just says help, you know, and it was so simple, you know what I mean? And like, so as a young person, young Republican, it made no sense to me. Like it was just too, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So, um, so the title of the book is Everything I Learned. I Learned in a Chinese Restaurant. Food is very important. The way that food connects us to each other is very important and the way it can kind of food can cross sort of these divisive lines that we've created for people is a very important part of the book. But oftentimes now food work and like food labor and restaurant workers and stuff like that, like we look down on them now and despite the kind of the way that they're so important to like our communities and towards creating these spaces of acceptance and stuff like that. Do you think everything else in your life staying the same? If the title of the book had been Everything I Learned, I Learned in an All -State Insurance Office. Do you think, do you think, do you think that would have changed a lot if it hadn't been a restaurant that you grew up in but it had been something else even if everything else in your life had stayed the same? Well, I think the one thing about it that's unique about a Chinese restaurant is that you really can go in and see a cross-section of the city. Like we had everybody from Mayor Coleman Young to the pimps and prostitutes to Oscar winning actors coming in. And so I feel like that unique aspect, right, where is it almost like the American Town Hall, right, now really offered me a great perspective. And so, you know, people oftentimes ask me like, what's the greatest lesson that you learned growing up in that Chinese restaurant? And I would say it's something my dad taught me. You know, when you're a little kid oftentimes your parents say don't talk to strangers. My dad said the exact opposite. He's like talk to strangers. And who he was talking about with is people sitting in our dining room because, you know, my dad was a kid from Chinatown. He never left. He never went to college. He didn't know what opportunities existed outside of those core walls, but he knew he had this dining room full of people who did. And so anytime he met someone he thought, you know, was really happy or just good nature or whatever. He called all six of his kids and run over and barrage them with questions of what do you do for a living? How'd you get your job? How much money do you make? You know, and it's just this idea of being able to talk to people are different from you people not being afraid to ask questions when you don't know the answer to something and most importantly not being afraid to ask for help because my dad asked for help all the time from the customers. Can you help our kids? Can you recommend something to them? Can you tell them about this and that and you know, I think because of that I'm not shy about these things right and admitting when you don't know something or you need help with something. And so yeah, that's just something that's got guided me and I think has given me the life that I've had. I mean, you know between this book tour and all the films I've made I've gone to over a thousand places in 20 countries, you know being able to talk and connect with people. It's just you know, it's a gift that I think was given to me because of that Chinese restaurant. Yeah, very much. So first thing I mentioned to you all is that you know, you're supposed to read this book as if it's like a entering a Chinese restaurant. That's why the opening line is welcome to Chang's closing line is, you know, please come again. It's all the chapters are like, you know noodles appetizers stuff like that. This is chapter m7 if that means anything to you like, you know as a Chinese menu. Okay. So again, this is chapter m7 happened towards the end of the book. Okay, being a creative writing major made me the literary expert at Chang's that was inevitable as my dad asked every customer. Have you met our number three? He's a writer in the family. Every time he mentioned my program the number of students accepted got smaller and smaller at some point. I expect him to say I was the only one on campus even allowed to own a pen. One week. One of our waiters was out sick. My younger siblings were busy with their weekend activities. So I was the one called in to help. I jumped at the chance to have some home-cooked meals for a few days. I was running around the dining room refreshing our customer soap for teapots when a white middle-aged woman reached into her oversized bag and pulled out a colorful hardcover. Have you read this book? It's so good. The Joy Luck Club the recently released novel that featured a bunch of old sassy Chinese ladies who like to eat gossip and play mahjong could easily even set in our back kitchen. Every time I came in to help at the restaurant another diner usually older and female cited the most memorable characters lines and scenes. They all wanted to know if I was working on something similar. I was writing poetry, but they didn't care to them all writers for the same they would squeal. You could be the next Amy Tan. My mom turned out to be the biggest pusher. She rarely had a book in her hand, but the success of the Joy Luck Club convinced her that her life was a bestseller too. She followed me around the dining room dropping stories from her childhood. The same ones I'd heard growing up, but now she recounted them as if she was auditioning for her own books on tape. One night after seeing how our waiters sometimes pulled their tips together. My mom shared an oldie. When the communists marched South they targeted my family. My uncles and grandpa were rich in America. So the Red Guard called us traitors. My stubborn grandma didn't want to leave her big home. So when my parents escaped to Hong Kong, they left me behind to keep her company. The communists hated me and my pawpaw. When I was four, they made me watch as they forced my grandma to climb the old banyan tree in our courtyard. Then they pushed her off into a pile of broken glass. For a visual, my mom rubbed her knees. Another time standing at the water station. She launched into her own nautical tail. When I was five, my uncle in America paid $25,000 in Renminbi, a king's ransom in people's money, to local fishermen to ferry our remaining family out of China. After a long ride tucked under the planks of his fishy, fishy coat, we came up for air. But we weren't in Hong Kong. The traitor turned us into the authorities. In jail, I had to sing communist party songs to earn extra rice for me and my grandma. Another chapter came as we stood beneath the painting of the Chinese countryside. When my pawpaw and I were freed from jail, we found that the officials had given away our home to peasants. We were forced to live several villages away in a dirt hut with three other families. Whenever we went out for a pail of water, my grandma had to bend low to keep her head below the soldiers. Once again, she gave me a demonstration. This time, bowing her head. Granted, my mom's epic saga interested me. Who wouldn't be intrigued by tales of prison cells, guns, and stolen ransoms? Even the parts about her mundane life in Hong Kong, after she was reunited with her parents and siblings, were amusing. But these were her stories, not mine. She had to tell them, not me. I was in school to find my own voice. I sat and listened, but that was as far as it would go. Toward the end of the summer, as I was at the back table sipping my red pop, stockpiling poems for the upcoming semester, my mom sat down. Before I could say anything, she started talking.